5 years and counting...

5 years and counting…. 5 years ago on July 17th, 2008 I arrived in Pittsburgh. If you’re interested in what brought me to Pittsburgh and how I ended up here, you can access my blog at http://chadinpittsburgh.blogspot.com . I’d love to describe my journey over the last 5 years and what it’s been like for a suburban white male in his late forties to immerse himself in an urban setting. I thought that when I came to Pittsburgh that I’d be helping with Urban Impact’s “Play Ball for Kids” program. I’ve always been in some sort of money raising activity and this seemed to be a fit that would work perfect for me. Plans were different. I ended up in our athletics program and specializing in getting our youth plans for after high school and even helping them pick up the pieces of their life when their post high school plans didn’t work out so well.

I remember the first time I was involved in a Program. Jeff Hartings and I were tasked with creating a basketball team for our fall basketball league. This was to be Urban Impact’s first team in several years. I was tasked with picking up some of the guys and Pittsburgh’s roads were built with very poor planning and before they came up with a grid system. Armed with a cell phone and a couple of phone numbers I was able to contact one of our youth. I’m still in contact with this young man and we laugh about that phone call and the difficulty I had in following his instructions to his place. Once I picked him up he took me into my first visit into the projects called, “North View Heights”. I had just seen the movie “Training Day” with Denzel Washington and driving into NVH reminded me of the scene when Denzel drove into the hood. To be perfectly honest, I was scared as I was in unfamiliar territory. It’s a funny memory now as I’m a known person in projects and I drive through it with my window down, waving at people I’ve gotten to know over the years. I’ll hear “coach Chad” yelled from youth and parents whom I’ve gotten to know.

The fall season came and went. I was tired and wondering why did God call me to this place? If I didn’t see another high school student for the rest of my life, that would’ve been ok with me. I got a phone call a few weeks later from one of the guys who played on our team. Most of the guys were now playing on the high school basketball team and they had a game coming up. He asked me if I’d come to the game. I figured he just wanted me to take him out to eat afterwards. Sure enough, I show up at the game. I’m walking towards the stands past the team as they were warming up. The boys stop warming up and come over and give me a hug and thank me for coming. I just about cried. I’ve spoken to some of them about that years after the event and they said it was like the CEO or an NBA coach walked in the gym. They were completely excited and I had read their feelings for me wrongly.

There wasn’t a night that didn’t go by that one of the guys didn’t call. Mostly they needed a ride here or there but every now and then they just wanted to talk. I tried to take them out of their comfort zones. If we went out to eat, we’d leave the North Side. Instead of going to the mall, we’d go to Philadelphia or Niagara Falls. We’d play 20 questions in the car. For almost a year if you’d were in my car, you’d hear one of the guys say…”Who am I thinking of?”

My second year here, most of the original guys I met were graduating from high school. My relationship with them had grown exponentially. I was able to help them get into college and more importantly, I was able to help them see that they might live past the age of 21. This had a compounding effect. Other youth whom I’d met and were part of Urban Impact’s programs came to me for help. I soon became known as someone who could help others with Options in life.

As time went on and some of my young men failed at college they realized that they could come to me without judgment and I’d help them dust off their failures and restart. Companies that were part of our Play Ball for Kids program started offering what I call “living wage” jobs. With the help of donors we were able to get jobs for some of these young men. For some of these guys, they are the first ones in a couple of generations to have a steady job at a decent wage and benefits. The employers have been pleasantly surprised as they thought they were doing a favor by giving these young men jobs (they were) but these young men are some of their best employees and they come to me when they need to hire more.

This year some of my young men will be seniors in college and I look forward to them entering Master’s programs or the workforce. Some guys are just letting life go by, not unlike myself at their age, but they are beginning to see that there is hope for them out there.

One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in Pittsburgh has been the violence. I’ve lost count of all the young men who have bullet wounds. I’ve been fortunate to only had one youth I’ve known personally die. I watched young men in high school get incarcerated for various reasons. It’s been hard. It’s a different life in the hood. One of the young men I know is currently paralyzed in the hospital from taking 4 bullets. I was driving with some of his friends the other day and they were talking about how you can’t hang out in the same place all the time. We were outside of the hood in suburbia and I pointed to a place that looked like a nice place to hang out and I told them that they could hang there 100 years and never get shot. They shook their heads but the thought was almost unbelievable.

What do the next 5 years look like? I have some guesses but I’m sure I’m wrong. I’m just hoping to follow God’s leading and enjoy the ride.

Born in the wrong zipcode but making his way out!

I know I haven't posted in awhile on my blog but I've had a few requests from some of you out there to let you know what's going on. Let me tell you...I have a doozie of a story. This story goes back to spring of 2011. A lot of the information that I'm speaking about in 2013 was gotten by talking with the student, his admissions officer, mentor and college coach. There was this young man who started coming to one of our basketball programs. This young man is a quiet kid and very unassuming. I started asking other young men I knew about this guy and they all had nothing but positive things to say about this young man. We started to become acquainted and throughout the time we started to develop a relationship. I found out that this young man wanted to attend a very prestigious private college which is located near Pittsburgh. Understanding the school he went to, I didn't have much hope in this young man attending this school. I actually took him to tours of other schools but he kept repeating that he was going to attend this other school. Little did I know but he had been working with a great North Side mentor who was walking him through the process. His grades were decent but his SAT scores weren't close to what the school accepted. Despite this downfall he didn't let this deter him. He kept writing letters to admissions and to the basketball coach saying that he was going to attend this school. The perseverance of this young man was the strongest I've seen in 5 years of doing this. Through that perseverance and several interviews the college decided to let him attend. I was called in to help him secure his financial aid and even worked with the school as they had little to no experience with the Pittsburgh Promise which was a majority of his financial aid. The young man's dream and his mom's desire were working out. Throughout the summer of 2012 I got to know this young man better as he worked in our summer day camp and also played on our basketball teams. Our education director took a chance on him in letting him work in the summer day camp as normally she only hires students who've completed their freshman year of college. This young man didn't disappoint and he made my recommendation of him to work the camp a success. It was finally time for this young man to enter college.... This is where the story starts getting even more interesting. Have you ever had a dream where the reality doesn't match the dream? This is what happened to this young man. As I said before this is one of the top private colleges in America. They compete for Engineering and Computer Science students from MIT and Rochester Institute of Technology. Their niche is they cater to students who want a Christian worldview. A little back story on this young man is he was a good student in high school with an approx. GPA of 3.3. His integrity was far beyond any I've seen of all the youth I've worked with on the North Side as witnessed from a Scholarship program he attended while in high school and his summer day camp experience. He also was able to receive a stipend from the scholarship program he attended which most students used for their proms yet he decided to save it for college as he knew the opportunity that was in front of him. The downside of all these great things was the fact that the high school he attended was at least in the bottom 5% of high schools in the country if not 1%. Despite all his efforts throughout high school he was going to be behind everyone else just because of the circumstances he was born into and the zip code he lived in. Fast forward to the fall of 2012 and the beginning of his freshman year. I was attending a church near the college and I knew a couple who are professors at the university. As this is a small university I asked them if they could keep an eye on this young man and his attitude and progress. A few days later a received a phone call that wasn't great news. I found out that the classes this student enrolled into were probably the wrong ones and to multiply the problems I found out that he wasn't doing well. Myself and his basketball coach from UIF decided drive up there and visit him. We arranged to meet with admissions, my professor friends and the basketball coach. My professor friends helped rearrange his schedule so he was in the proper courses that were the proper gradient for him. They, along with the basketball coach spoke with each of their professors and got buy in that they were going to do all that they could do to bring this young man up to the standards held by the College. This was good news. We then were able to meet with this young man and the coach. (As an aside, while the myself and the UIF coach were waiting in admissions we were watching some of the other prospective students. You need to understand that both of us live and work in the hood. We glance over and see a prospective student, he is wearing penny loafers, khakis and argyles. We feel as though we were transported back to 1982.) This young man walked up to us and we both saw from the look on his face that all wasn't well. He had never been required to do homework in his past previous years in college and he had a load of it. He also spoke about not being able to sleep at night. From my previous relationships with him I knew that he loved taking afternoon naps yet these naps were for 2-3 hours. I convinced him that a nap was 30 minutes and to limit the nap times. We then walked into the lunchroom which happened to be packed with students. Myself and both coaches sat down with this young man. We listened to his frustrations. As we listened, it just sounded like a young man who was away from home for the first time and in a totally different environment. The college coach than came up with a brilliant observation. He told the young student to look around the room and tell him what he saw. This young man told us that he saw a bunch of privileged white kids who were all doing well. The coach called bs on this and then let him know about how most of the students were receiving their first B's, C's, D's and possibly F's for the first time in their life. He then told him to get to know some of them and he will find out how looks can be deceiving. I then realized that he was also going through the same thing, he was not the best at what he was doing for the first time in his life and he needed to once again rise to the top. After hearing this and he kind of smiled and we knew that he was going to live for another day. As the coach and I were leaving the college, we both knew that this young man had a rough road in front of him. Racially he was out of place with about 2% of the people who looked like him. Economically, I can't imagine any other student being lower although I don't have the data for this but I'm pretty sure. He was in for a tough year. Throughout the year I stayed in touch with him. I made sure that he had rides home over the holidays and we had lunch. I was able to visit him and drop of gifts during 3 of his games and was able to get some of his friends to attend. He finished his first semester over a 2.0 and was able to avoid academic probation. Things were looking up. This young man finished his basketball season and then focused all his attention onto his school work. During this time he contacted me concerning working at the Summer Day Camp this year. (Of course) We were able to take a group of our young man to this particular college for a tour and this young man gave a moving Q&A to these young men he's grown up with. Today I was able to pick up this young man after finishing his 1st year in college. He is doing well and his GPA is in a very respectable range. He knows what it takes to be a student now and is ready to move onward and upward next year.

Why I do what I do!

This is taken from an email I wrote to our staff the other day and I've been told several times that I should blog this, so..... "Like most of you, last night (6/5/12) I barely made it up the steps into my home. I don’t remember the the last time I was so worn out and tired. My muscles were tightening up and I had a cramp in my hand that wouldn’t go away. (That’s what I get for not keeping myself hydrated yesterday.) I was questioning why we do what we do and with so many events over the past month and a half I’ve been getting physically and mentally tired. I’ve been praying for the Lord to give me strength and to renew my soul as I’ve felt myself losing my resolve and call to the NorthSide. I know that the Lord called me to this place and he hasn’t given me any new calling. (Which means if I want to stay in his will then I must “Stay the course.”) In other words I was tired and the enemy knew it! Now, let me tell you what the Lord has done in the last 24 hours to renew my soul. These 3 things that have happened in the last 24 hours are why we do what we do! Without each one of us working together I’m not sure how this would’ve worked out. As I think of each of the stories I’m able ready to write, I can’t help but think of each and every one of your hands helping in making these things work. I’m just a recipient of seeing this last part and thus I have a responsibility to share this success with the rest of you to let you know that what you are doing is changing lives! Yesterday afternoon, Jeff Steele took Jeremy to a job interview with Pat Cady’s company, CIS. Jeff worked with Jeremy to prepare him for the interview. He practiced with on potential questions, made sure that Jeremy looked the interviewer in the eye and made sure that he knew how to shake hands. He also let him know what type of questions to ask the interviewer should the opportunity arise. Needless to say Jeremy got the job! (There’s so much more to this story but this is a God send for Jeremy) This job is a career opportunity for Jeremy. Tom Kreider introduced Pat Cady to me earlier in the year. One other thing happened that opened started to renew my soul. I spoke with Jeff Steele last night as he was excited to be part of this and he told me that Jerome wasn’t sure what he was going to do prior to this opportunity as he didn’t want to go to College (Jeremy has said this to me since he was a sophomore in high school) and Jeremy felt since nothing was on the horizon that he would settle for going to ACAC and if that didn’t pan out than he may have to try the 6th option which is turning to the streets to make a living. Because Jeff Steele was able to help out with this process, I was able to hear personally what is going on in some of these students mind as they start to navigate their futures. I couldn’t help but think of all the people who’ve been involved, just in my mind in Jeremy’s life at UIF. Forgive me if I miss a few kudo’s but I think of Nehemiah, Jeff H., Seth, Pastor Ed, Ryan M., Jason B. and Tom Kreider. I know more of you were very indirectly involved with him as well. Thank you, thank you and thank you! Next thing happened this morning. Last week one of our old students posted what I saw as a call for help on facebook. I called him last week and we shared a meal so he could share with me what’s going on. Basically he told me that he was doing things to earn money that I didn’t want to know about. I was able to share with him the consequences of those actions and the paths he was heading down. I was also able to get him to look at what at he has to show for it. (basically he has nothing to show for all the money he’s made over the last 2 years other than a bigger belly) We left our meal and let him know that once he’s ready, let me know and I will help get him “up to speed” in life and we can reverse his downward spiral and he become the man who God intended for him to be. He left me saying he wasn’t quite ready but he’ll let me know. This morning I received the text letting me know that he’s ready to move forward in life. I’ve known this young man for 4 years now and I actually cut him off and for him to let me know that he’s ready to move forward on his own accord and to initiate the move is huge! I can’t help but think of others who’ve been instrumental in this young man’s life, Pastor Ed, Seth, Nehemiah, Jeff H., Jason B., Ms. Gayle, Gregg Friday and I’m sure many others. Right after that text I received another text from Steven. I’ve been hearing from some of the “guys” out there that Steven wanted to come and see me about helping him enroll in ACAC (Community College). I told them to give him my number and to have Steven call me. I didn’t pursue Steven. As some of you may know, many of us have pursued Steven only to be disappointed on many levels. Tuesday afternoon I ran into Steven and he told me that he needed help. I gave him my number and told him to call me and we’ll get together. I’ve had this happen to me many times and anymore I just forgot about it. As I said earlier, pursuing Tevin has usually been wasted effort. Well….this morning Steven texted me about getting together to work on getting him enrolled at ACAC in the fall. I believe him this time as he’s initiated this. Please pray for Steven as he’s been part of UIF for many years and many of you have been involved with him. I can’t help but think about Tammy, Pastor Ed, Josh, Ruthann, Seth, Nehemiah, Jeff H., and I’m sure so many other of you have been part of Tevin at one point or another.(Just thought I'd let you know...Steven showed up for his appointment and we completed his Financial Aid papers to attend Community College!) This why we do what we do! Last night we cast a net! Some of these will make it to our outreach programs and then they will become part of our team or discipleship programs and finally they will come to Ruthann or myself and we will help them navigate the Option program. We are making disciples! I spoke with Jeff Steele last night and I told him about an open gym and it would be Urban Impact rules. I asked him what that meant and he immediately said, “Create a Loving Atmosphere”. I then asked him if he’d go over it with the guys before we play basketball tomorrow and he said “Sure!” With that being said, I now know that we are making disciples and with that knowledge God has refreshed my soul! To all my friends, family and supporters thank you also.

2011-Another year in Pittsburgh or The Hood deepens!

2011 has brought many challenges and many rewards. This was the first year of college for the young men I mentor and although they all made it through the first semester, chinks were starting to show in their armor. I was able to open up talks with Penn State in regards to preparing students to enter the University despite the circumstances they've grown up in and the Chancellor has gotten the staff at Penn State New Kensington to believe in making diversity with successful graduates a reality. We continued our 3rd year of high school basketball teams and this year our boys played in the championship game. It was a heartbreaker as Mookie made a half court shot that was ruled ineligible in overtime due to the clock running out. I was proud of how well our boys took the loss despite the controversy.

During this period I started helping seniors fill out their applications for financial aid. I've sort of become an expert at this. I helped at least 20 students and parents fill out their FAFSA’s this year. This is another great way for me to meet parents who I've never met. It's great to hear how appreciative they are for our programs and the time we are willing to spend with the youth.

Spring came and with it baseball. This year we had 5 teams playing and I supervised the 9-10 year olds or the "Minors". We actually played in the championship game which was a first. Baseball has been a great way to meet the parents of some of our kids. Usually by the 6th grade parents become less engaged in the activities of their kids so you don't necessarily see them.

The college semester ended during this time and I had about 9 boys who were coming home for the summer and they were calling or emailing asking about summer jobs. I didn't know what to do other than pray that doors would be opened for these young men and women. As I wrote in an earlier post, I was able to find interns or jobs for every one of these as well as others who started hearing the "Chad" could find a job for them. Thanks goes to Urban Impact, UIF Summer Day Camp and Au Bon Pain for taking a chance on these young men and women. Over the few years I've been here, I've heard war stories about how the youth will disappoint you as they go into the workforce. I experienced quite the opposite. Overall these youth performed above expectations and all are being invited back to their respective employers for the holidays and next summer.

I had one young man who've I've known almost the whole time I've been in Pittsburgh who has had difficulties making wise decisions. I was driving home one afternoon and noticed the cops and ambulances on the street. This young man had been shot in the leg and it hit his femur bone. This was the start of a wake up call. When he was able to walk around again I began seeing him making bad decisions once again. His place got raided along with his girlfriends and life became serious. He's come by the house several times and talks about changing his life around and he now has a full time job. Let's hope the call of the streets fade from his hearing.

Fall was a scary time around my neighborhood. For 6 days straight we heard shots fired within several hundred yards of our home. This culminated with a youth being shot in the leg. (different than the one mentioned above) The shooting has quieted down and I pray every day for the safety of the youth that live around me.

I helped more youth than ever enter college or get jobs than ever before. I've had one youth who I hadn't seen in over a year, although I stayed in touch with via facebook and texts call for help over a month ago. This young man left our program angry and said he was never coming back. He called me up and said we needed to meet. I definitely went with lots of suspicion. This young man came to me and said, "Chad, there's nothing out here for me. I need to get serious about life, can you help me?" That's music to my ears. I was able to help secure him a job at Home Depot. I also have gotten to know his mother and have been able to get her agreement and support in helping him turn his life around. We are currently in the process of getting him signed up for school and deciding if it's best to start in the winter semester or next fall.

I'm currently working on an Options Guide to help a mentor walk through with a youth what it takes to get on a "bus".(Career, College, Military, Ministry or Trade School) There's plenty of references to navigate this minefield and consolidating it into one location has proven to be a formidable task although I feel that others who are walking with our youth will find out that there is help but the work needs to be done.

How am I doing personally? I still feel like I've won the lottery as far as my job and career go. I can't believe I'm saying this but I love working with these youth. Some great supporters of mine have connected me with a Doctor and he is working with getting me on a healthier lifestyle. I feel closer to my family than ever before and look forward to spending Christmas with my little brother and his family. I hope there is a woman out there who would be willing to put up with a man like me and I do hope that one day I will be married again.

9 years ago, I decided to follow Jesus and give my life to serving God. I feel like I'm doing just that. I definitely not perfect and I have many blemishes but I try to Love and Honor God with all my might, and Love others even though I fall very short in this area. Everything else falls into place from try to do those two things.

I've never talked about what I'm about to talk about on my blog as I am a bit prideful at times. I live and survive in doing what I'm doing by the generous donations of those who love and know me. Some do a little and some do a lot but all do what they can. Over the years I've been here I've lost a few supporters due to financial reasons and I really need the help this year. People support me and the calling God’s put me on in life please consider giving monthly or by one time donations. If this is something you'd like to know more about please contact me at my work email address. chad.braun@urbanimpactpittsburgh.org or you can always call 412-576-7790

A Transformation in the hood

Back in June of 2008 I visited Pittsburgh to make sure that this was what my calling would be over the next several years. During this time Urban Impact Foundation had their annual Football Clinic with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Over 450 youth showed up along with parents on this rainy day. Due to the rain, the clinic was moved from outside to the Oliver basketball gym. We now had all these youth and adults crammed into a muggy gym in the beginning of summer. Larry Foote, middle linebacker for the Steelers was speaking and up at the top of the bleachers a group of high schoolers were acting out. Pastor Ed took the microphone and in a way Pastor Ed is the best at, he called out the ring leader. The youth immediately calmed down and the rest of the event went off and was a success. I remember the youth Pastor Ed called out, his name was Boo-Man. I looked up at him and he was dressed in a white t-shirt and his jeans were hanging halfway down his butt with his boxers showing. The others around him looked and dressed in a similar fashion. Coming from a suburban upbringing I was scared and intimidated by this look although I put on a good face. "What do I have to offer these kids?" resounded through my head. It's over 3 years down the road and guess what? Boo-Man and I have a story.

While I was new to Urban Impact, the athletic director at the time asked if I would take Daryl to our outreach basketball. Of course! Little did I know that Boo-Man was Daryl and he had a history with us. If we kept records on who had been kicked out of our gyms the most, Boo-Man has to hold that record. There are many stories of him circulating through our offices, "the kid who cussed out the supervisor", "the kid who wanted to fight one of our toughest volunteers". Just before it was time to leave for basketball in walks Boo-Man. I'm thinking, "do I really want this gang banger in my car?" From that day on, every Monday Boo-Man would come get a ride from me to outreach throughout what was then his junior year. He didn't talk much but I knew that he enjoyed basketball and played for his high school team. Fast forward to his senior year, I stayed in touch with Boo-Man but he was busy as a lot of high school seniors can be. I thought he had just strayed from our program. During the basketball season I went to watch his team play and this didn't go unnoticed by him. Later in the season, his team played Oliver, their rival and also the team I had a few of the guys who I'd gotten close to were playing for. In the Oliver gym, Boo-Man's team was down one with seconds left. Boo-Man was left wide open to shoot a 3 and took the shot. He made it! That was the shot athletes dream of, last second, in the enemy's camp. Boo-Man was THAT guy on that day. I was excited and I let him know how proud I was of him.

Fast forward to the end of the year. I would see Boo-Man around and I would ask him what he was planning to do for college. Come to find out, he had a decent GPA and could get accepted at most of the colleges. I helped him fill out his financial aid papers and we got them sent in along with a few college applications. He talked like he wanted to go to Penn State but as the clock was ticking he wouldn't return phone calls. Finally in July, about 3 weeks before it's time to enter college I receive a phone call from Boo-Man. Trouble was, I happen to be in Salt Lake City at the time. Boo-Man decided to attend Penn State New Kensington. (Thank God we did an app to Penn State) When I got home from SLC, the first thing I did was find Boo-Man. We listed out the things to do for him to start in 2 weeks and like clockwork he got them done and enrolled on time.

With Boo-Man set up to start school I felt I'd earned the right to ask him a few questions. One of the questions I asked him was what happened when he went silent on me for those couple of months. Someone from his neighborhood told him that he should attend one of Pitt's satellite schools and play basketball for them. He started going down that path as they said money wouldn't be an object. He ended up paying over $400 in different fees to find out that attending Pitt would end up costing him over $10000 more a year. I let him know that we could've found that out without him wasting all that time and money and in the future let me know what's going on in your head and we'll look at all the options and he can make a decision. Since that day Boo-Man has come to me with different decisions he's had to make.

Over the past year, Boo-Man relucantly went to bible studies with his roommates at Penn State. Sometime in the spring, something clicked with him and his whole tone changed. His postings on facebook were no longer vulgar or filled with obscenities and the leader of his bible study told me that he was starting to get engaged. Last May he called me up and told me that he wanted to get baptised. I asked him if he knew what that meant and he was able to tell me why. For different reasons it's been difficult to get him baptised as he doesn't attend a regular church and quite frankly my summer was extremely busy. I knew this fall I needed to make this happen and I had to prioritize this event. His bible study leader up at school made sure that he was ready to be baptised and knew what it meant and this Sunday I'll be attending a baptism class with him for his baptism on October 23rd! We'll be celebrating with all his friends and family his outward expression to follow Jesus.

Summer Jobs

When I first got here 3 years ago I was told that getting some of the youth jobs would be a thankless task as they would quit without warning or get fired. Last fall I had a company downtown hire 3 of my graduates who are working on preparing for different careers. I then was recently asked if I had anymore people I could send them as those 3 workers were by far the best workers they have in the 9 stores they have downtown. I was able to get 4 more people hired over the last week.

As I was leaving work the other day I spoke with the director of our Summer Camp regarding 7 people who she hired to work as student teachers over an 8 week program. She looked at me and just beemed. She told me that we are only a week into camp and these student teachers are some of the best she's seen in over 15 years. The amazing part is these are students who came up through our program and despite all the hardships they encounter and still are encountering they are changing their lives and the lives of generations that will follow.

I personally was able to hire 2 students to work as student interns this summer in our athletics department and they are doing a fine job.

I'm extremely happy that I'm able to view some of the fruit of all the hard work that has been done with these young people and I feel priviledged to be able to be part of what is happening in their lives.

2010 Revisited

I don't know if it's to early to recap the year but who cares! It's my blog. This year has been a very defining year for myself and the ministry I'm working in. Let's look at this year in review.
January 2010-The year started off with a bang. We had a basketball team that was invited to play in a high school basketball league for small schools. These were mostly Charter schools or very small private schools. It was definitely a great match for the caliber of players we had as our best players were on their high school basketball teams. I also planned an event for MLK Day for our youth that was attended by approximately 100 people. It was a great event as I was able to secure Reverend Robinson to speak to our youth about the times he spent with MLK personally and also talk about the Civil Rights Movement which he was an integral part of and led the Pittsburgh area in its role in the movement. The most touching part for me was sitting with him in the beginning of the night while a slide show was showing pictures of the events that happened back in the early 60's and to have the Rev start telling me the names of everyone in the different photos. He commented on the slide show and how nice it was to have all those pictures as it stirred a lot of memories.

February- We finished up our basketball league and begun planning for the baseball season. I remember feeling very tired and worn out during this period as I was basically working 6 days a week and often into the evenings. We started doing a Thursday night baseball clinic to start getting our boys ready for baseball. Early in the month I was invited to a Men's retreat at Jumonville. I brought four high school seniors with me as I thought it would be a good experience. This weekend coincided with the blizzard that hit Pittsburgh and surrounding areas. We were snowed in up at Jumonville and the boys were stuck with only staying at the retreat. We talked about heading into town for a movie but were unable to due to the blizzard conditions. It was an interesting experiment and next time I will only make the boys attend just a couple of sessions although they were listening as they won some prizes at the end by answering questions about what was gone over during the retreat. It totally surprised me. I begin questioning the boys about their financial aid for next year.

March-Baseball season started with clinics every Saturday and pitching clinics on Thursday nights. I also began putting pressure on the boys I work with who are seniors on starting to figure out and make decisions on what they were going to do next year.

April - Baseball season started. We had a fantastic opening day and the weather permitted us to have a carnival along with some great baseball. We were asked to join the Josh Gibson league which was an answer to prayers for the 11-12 year olds as we were having difficulty getting games for them. The boys loved it and the fact that they had 2 sets of uniforms made them feel awesome. We decided to start an AAU Team for basketball and it gave a way for our high school boys to do something for the spring and early summer. Easter came and I was able to have a bbq and easter egg hunt on my block for the kids in my neighborhood. I was also able to spend a few days at Myrtle Beach golfing.

May-I started to feel the pinch for the boys I'd been mentoring for 1 1/2 years at this time. I realized that they didn't have parents who knew anything about getting them into college and if they were going to attend I was going to have to take some ownership in leading them. We started taking trips to different University's and they boys started making decisions. Baseball was in full swing and took up most of my evenings and afternoons taking care of the field, concessions while running the 2 teams for 11-12 year olds. We had only a few rain delays so games overall went as scheduled.

June- Baseball ended and we had an awesome awards ceremony. The end of baseball is always bittersweet as you realize you won't see some of the kids for almost 6 months as a lot of them play football. I spent a lot of time doing financial aid work and getting the boys ready for college. I also spent time at Penn State as I had to attend 4 different orientation sessions but I also became acquainted with the Chancellor of the school and that my be a blessing for future students.

July- I spent almost 3 weeks in July in Utah. I was able to attend a family reunion which was a great blessing. Since my father passed away in November 2009, my family has really renewed our relationships and it has been great to get close to some of my siblings again. I also was able to spend time with friends and other relatives. My aunt Marva and uncle Roger hosted a party at their home and a few other relatives visited. My friends always treat me right and I was able to share many meals and conversations with old friends. I also spoke about my experiences in Pittsburgh in front of about 400 people at K2 the Church south campus. I felt blessed to be able to share what the Lord is doing in my life.

August - This is a time to get ready for the fall programs. I was busy getting things ready for the fall as well many meetings with parents and practices with kids. I also helped get 6 boys off to college, 4 to Penn State and 2 to Loch Haven. I kind of became the go to guy when others dropped the ball so these boys had everything from financial aid to NCAA eligibily requirements so they could play sports ready. An interesting thing started to happen at this time. Other students who graduated started to drop in or call and ask for help. As of this time (December) I've now helped over 24 students get into the different Options that are out there for youth once they graduate or finish high school. I must admit that when I dropped the boys off to school that I almost cried.

September - We started with our outreach programs and I took on more of a leadership role. We also had our teams in full gear so I felt like I was busy for almost 6 days a week. My Athletic director noticed this and didn't want to burn me out so we lightened my load a bit so I didn't have to work 6 days a week.

October - October was a tough month as one of the students I've known for several years decided to continue making poor decisions and one cost him his freedom and he is now in jail. This really shook me up as I was followed by potential shooters who were looking for him. This was reflective month and a month to really make sure that I was safe as well as making the right decisions. I will remember October 2010 as a month marked with violence, shootings and deaths. It really seemed to explode during this month.

November - This is the month of Thanksgiving. I was able to help with both the Soccer celebration and Basketball league celebrations early on in the month. We had great events and were enjoyed by all. I also helped with getting some middle school youth set up for some baseball hitting clinics at an indoor facility the MLB and Pirates organization started in Pittsburgh. We are hoping to start a Pony league in the fall for these boys, God willing. I was able to spend my Thanksgiving in Blacksburg, VA with old SLC friends who relocated. It was special as I spent over 10 Thanksgivings with them in SLC. I was spoiled by Donna and Asa and had a great time. I look forward to visiting more often as it was closer than I thought.

December- So far so good, I've been able to watch my boys play for Penn State NK and I'm looking forward to heading to Salt Lake City to spend my Christmas out there.

This is my year in review....I know I missed a lot of things but this is what stood out at this time.

Another lesson learned from the streets

Last Thursday afternoon while picking up boys for basketball practice I noticed I was being followed closely by an SUV. Before pulling into the parking lot at the gym one of my boys noticed it also. The car had been following us for a couple of miles and followed me through several left hand turns. I know I hadn't cut anyone off and was wondering why this car was following me so closely. I dropped off all but one of the youth and then I took the junior high school youth to his gym. I couldn't shake the fact that I had been followed closely and it wasn't just a random car. I got home around 7 pm and decided that maybe I was a little paranoid and got ready for the football game.

Let me go back a little and give some history. A few blocks from where I live, there have been some shootings going on over the last few weeks. No one has been shot but the police are aware of some of players and are doing all they can to end the violence before someone gets shot. Someone was even found with a rifle on the roof and the players are being rounded up. There is a problem with keeping them in custody as they've just become adults and although they have records, juvenile records don't follow people as they become adults. Example: if a youth has 2 felonies as a youth and then commits a felony as an adult, there is no 3 strike rule as 2 of the felonies were committed as a youth. This has definitely tied the hands of our justice system from getting some of these bad apples off the street. No one really wants to "snitch" on anyone else as that makes them a target as well as their family members.

Now I'm moving forward in time. This past Saturday one of the boys I picked up on Thursday walked into the gym with 2 of his "friends". One of the leaders of the gym commented on the type of friends the young man is hanging out with as the boys he came with have bad reputations and are known gang members. Now moving forward to Sunday I find out that those boys and the one who I gave a ride to on Sunday may be a part of the gang that is shooting up our neighborhood and starting a gang war with someone who was just released from prison. When I found that out, everything that happened on Thursday afternoon came to light and I was shaken to the core.

For the first time I felt I may or the car I was driving was a target of violence. I've been in some tough neighborhoods yet I was never a target or felt like I was a target. This is not a good feeling and the fact that I have young men in my car doesn't make me feel any better. I'm praying for comfort from the Holy Spirit and that peace and understanding come to these young men who are committed to the violence of the streets. I look forward to talking to the young man who I personally have a relationship with and look forward to hopefully walking him through to safety and a healthy lifestyle. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go through this time of unrest and please keep the youth in mind whom I've been empowered to help.

I feel like I've had a warning to keep up my power of discernment concerning the streets and the violence which is constantly below the surface here in the North Side of Pittsburgh. I don't question why I'm here nor is this a lifting of the white flag of surrender. This is more of me just figuring out how to work smarter and once again shows me how close to the bottom these boys whom I serve are.

When to give up?

I've been chewing on "when is it time to give up on someone". I've been chewing on this for quite sometime as I've been disappointed by a few of the youth I work with. Without going into details as I think the details are really insignicant the point is, I felt like I just needed to give up on some of the boys I deal with. To be perfectly honest, it would be very easy to do this and would definitely make my life a little easier. Thank God, I didn't act quickly on this thought. I felt I needed some advice from someone who's been down my road and I knew the perfect people to ask. I've written about Reverend Robinson and his wife Dr. Betty Robinson in the past so I won't go into any detail other than they've been doing this for at least 50 years through Education and ministry. They agreed to meet with me. Without going into to much detail about our conversation, the takeaway I had was a simple story Gram (Dr. Betty Robinson) told me of a 50 year old man who she had in her school many years ago. I don't know this 50 year old man's story but Gram told me that she'll see this gentleman from time to time and he'll say "I'm doing good". Considering that he wasn't the best student or citizen she'll take that and hug him and say "I'm proud of you."

I chewed on this for a few days (I'm a little slow). I thought about my own life, I gave up on my family religion, I joined a cult, I made terrible accusations against friends and family members and lots of other things that were unseemly throughout my life. I've given friends and family many reasons to give up on me over the years yet I've been blessed by many and they've stuck with me through the thick and thin. I couldn't help but think about the story of the Prodigal Son in the bible (Luke 15: 11-32 in the New Testament) The father who waits for his son, the son who squanders his inheritance, lives an immoral existance, and ends up on the streets (living with the pigs). I can't help but think of my parents who took me in at the age of 30 to get my life back together after spending 9 years in the cult and basically cutting them out of my life. I think of my brothers and sisters who have shown me tremendous love and acceptance over the past several years after enduring over 5 years family squabble. I think of my friends who have supported me throughout financial crisis, job losses, change of life directions and many other things.

This all comes back to when do I give up on some the boys who have been put into my life and the answer I came up with is "NEVER"!

Generational poverty adverted?

I haven't written in awhile and I have lots of excuses but nevermind, here's another story of my life over the last 2 weeks.

I thought I'd write a note about what's been going on in my life since getting back to Pittsburgh a few weeks ago.(I was on vacation in Utah) 2 out of the 4 youth I'm working with on going to Penn State have all their financial aid packages set and room and board set up. The other 2 have a couple of hurdles to jump over and should be fine by this time next week. I have the good fortune to be able to take them and move them into their dorms this coming Sunday. I look forward to this although I wish I could be watching them leave with their parents taking them off to college. I have a couple of other boys who are leaving for Loch Haven University on Thursday morning and they are, as of 11 am this morning fully ready to attend college. All 5 out of 6 of these students are entering college as the first member of their family to attend college. It's been alot of hard work and lots of paperwork and follow up as the parents just have no idea what to do as most of their parents haven't even graduated from high school.

I have one more story I'd like to share that has happened since I got back. Tom Jones, a father, who is also student of mine who didn't graduate told me that he wasn't going back to get his diploma. I asked about his GED and he was lackluster at at best. He asked if I would help him get a job as I have some connections for jobs although most are of fast food variety. I drove him down to an area of town where they have a school called the Bidwell Training Center. I let him know that he could attend this school for free and be qualified for a career. The careers range from Pharmacy Tech to Culinary Arts to Horticulture. Their culinary arts department is very well known in and the Horticulture department grows some of the world best Orchids. I told him as I took him home on a friday that I would pick him up on Monday morning for the orientation class so he could learn more about the school. His attitude was terrible and I thought to myself that I'm about done with trying to help this kid out.

Monday morning I showed up at his place at 8 am and knocked and knocked and knocked on his door. His sister finally answered and Tom came down the stairs apologizing that he forgot and would I wait for him to get ready. I got him to the orientation by 9 am and told him I would pick him up at 11 am. At 11 am he finished his orientation and I was there to greet him. He walked up to me and told me that he was going to be a Culinary Artist! I then walked him over to admissions and we talked about the GED program they have for him so he can get his GED before he starts his program.

Here's where the rubber starts to hit the road. Tom has needed his state id since last December and I have hounded him several times about this. I even was unable to get him hired due to him not having an id. Well...that wednesday he texts me that he got his state id!!!!

This may seem simple stuff but it was huge and a big step for this young man and father. I can now get him hired at Burger King and in school to get his GED and then on to Culinary School. This young man now has a path out of generational poverty.

One person, One family, One block at a time....

A late night visitor

I would like to share another story with you that hopefully shows how fulfilling my call to the North Side of Pittsburgh has been.

Last Wednesday night as I was getting ready for bed, as a matter of fact I was just getting under the covers. I heard the door knock and the dog bark. I was thinking "who is coming over at this time of night?". My roommate Jack, was in the living room but was under the weather as he was getting over a nose operation and was in no mood for visitors. Jack yells out to me, "Chad, one of your boys is at the door." I must admit that I was, as said earlier, just getting under the covers and did not want to get up. I wasn't the happy guy. I put on my sweats and walked to the front door and standing there was one of the boys I see from time to time. He told me that the door to his house was locked and his dad wouldn't be home for another 45 minutes. He said I'm cold and I haven't eaten anything. I don't know what happened to my bad attitude but I said come on in. I told him what I had and he said great. I happened to have a package of cookies on the table and I said take those. He ate a few as I prepared a meal for him.

The meal was prepared and I couldn't believe how fast he ate it. It was enough for 2people and remember that I'm a big guy saying it's enough for 2 people. I figured that he was warmed up and well fed and he said by the time he got home that his dad should be at the house. He left.

I cleaned up and got myself ready for bed again. There was a problem. My adrenaline was running extremely fast and my mind was working overtime. A thought came to me, "was that really who I thought it was or was that Jesus coming at the door?". I'm normally a pretty lucid guy but this thought still lingers with me a week later as I write this. I can't help but feel proud that I actually listened and answered the call to help the least and the lost in Pittsburgh. That event, was one of the reasons I felt called to not only work in the North Side but also live in the same kind of neighborhood my youth live in. I felt fortunate that I got to experience feeding the hungry and warming the cold, if he would've asked or if I thought it was necessary I would've gave him a place to sleep. I may not have many resources but the Lord has provided me with the right amount every time. (I've been well fed in the process also)

Someone asked me if I share the Gospel and I told them that I do as much as I can and sometimes I use words. I also feel that if God can use a white, overweight, 46 year old bald man with no special talents that he can use anyone. Listen to what he's telling you, don't second guess it. Your life will never be the same again.

College Bound

This has been an exciting season for me in Pittsburgh. Those of you who follow my blog know that I've been mentoring some boys since their junior year in high school. This past season I've been trying to get them to look at what is in store for them next year. The problem is they are trying to figure out how they are going to get the fee for their basketball team or $10 to go to a movie and I'm asking them about a concept most of their families have never really talked about other than the way I might talk about winning the lottery with a friend.

2 of the guys we knew who played on their high school football team got invited to check out Loch Haven University. This started making it real that high school is about over and these boys need to make a plan.

One night 2 boys were over and I was able to have what I feel is a breakthrough conversation about what is in store for them and what plans are they making for the future. As a result of the conversation and some follow up confirmation conversations they've had they have both enrolled in a local Trade Tech college. They are going to welding school and it's exciting to see their excitement and one mindedness on this particular goal they have.

I've developed a relationship with the Athletic Director at the high school that most of these boys attend and through our tag teaming we've gotten the other boys to fill out their FAFSA(financial aid application). We then took 4 of our boys to Penn State New Kensington and we were able to get them accepted a provisional students. (this means that they need to carry a 2.0 or better for the first semester or 18 credits.) In other words the 5 of the boys I've been working closely with have been accepted into college or trade school. They had an orientation this past weekend and this has really excited the boys in their decision to go to Penn State.

All in all, I've got to say that I feel like a proud papa. I'm not ignorant to the fact that we still have a long way to go but we are on the "bus"!

My Life in a cult (part two)

It's time to write about my cult experience again. I can't believe the great responses I've gotten from friends and family wanting to know more. Here we go...

When I last spoke of my life in a cult I had arrived in Clearwater, Florida to what Scientologist refer to as "Flag, the Mecca of Technical Perfection", The next day I took the elevator downstairs and there was a bustle of construction activity going on in the lobby. I didn't know what to expect or where I was supposed to be so me being me and it being football season I walked outside to grab a paper to check the college scores. I grabbed the sports section while reading I kept a watch out to see if there was anyone I recognized. About 2 hours later I saw the "recruiter" and asked where I needed to be. I was whisked away and taken to the basement area. I was put onto a routing form where I was put onto the Estate Project Force or the "EPF". This is the equivalent of boot camp in the military. It lasts as long as it takes you to get through the Scientology courses. The worksheets say 4 weeks but most people took 2 to 4 months to get through it. Most of my day was spent cleaning rooms where people stayed. I remember trying to dispel thoughts of how degraded the place was and I tried justifying my thoughts about it. I would like to have thought that Scientology had just purchased the building but it was just about 10 years into their ownership. The food purchased seemed 2nd rate also as we would unload the deliveries once a week and I felt like the fruit was bought from stores before it spoiled and was unsellable. I also remember the size of cockroaches, called palmetto bugs, I'd never seen a bug that big. I also remember seeing rats at night.

I took pride as a fully doctrinated kool aid drinker though in the task at hand although I had some issues that were simmering under the surface. I ran from task to task, (when I say ran, I mean physically ran), I made sure that the rooms I cleaned were the cleanest and the toilets sparkled. This got noticed and I was chosen to clean a VIP's room who was staying there for an extended amount of time and quite possibly may have been a wealthy Sea Org member. I remember them having special edition Scientology books that were leather bound, and a platinum emeter(these cost thousands of dollars to purchase). They were from a South American country and Saldiarraga I think was the name. I remember years later of hearing that he died.

This went on for about three weeks and I was totally focused on getting through. I woke up one morning and felt an asthma attack coming on. I was having trouble breathing and was miserable. I eventually convinced them that I needed to go to the hospital. After hours of Scientology assists and no relief I was finally taken to the hospital. I remember that it took me years to pay off that visit to the hospital.

I finally got over my attack and went back to work. Something had shifted in me and I felt that if I wanted to be a real help to Scientology I needed to finish my education. I called my parents and booked a flight home. I had no idea of the flap that I created by doing that. I went and told my supervisor that I had an early morning flight the next day and that I was going home. I remember him looking at me with his mouth wide open and he said you can't do that. I told him that it was all set and paid for. To this day, I don't know how I made it out of there in good standing but somehow I did. The problem was this wasn't the end of my Scientology experience but the beginning.

It's been awhile

Hello everyone and sorry it's been awhile since I last blogged. A lot has gone on since my last blog and I hope to get everyone caught up in the stories of my life and what is happening with me. In November I bought a new home in Pittsburgh (new to me, the home was built in 1928) I felt very blessed to get this home as it's fully remodeled and it's actually cheaper than rent.

On November 15, I received news that my father passed away suddenly. This hit me pretty hard and I still find myself wanting to dial his number and share something with him or ask a question only to realize that he's not there. Despite all that, it was an amazing time at the funeral with my siblings. Amazing, and siblings is something I haven't experience in years if not decades. We had a great time together and we were able to laugh, cry, and share many memories we had with our dad and each other. My dad, I'm sure was smiling down on us.

Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went like a whirlwind. I've been the administrator for our travel team and they had quite a few practices and games throughout the holiday season. I've been able to start a few new relationships and I'm always excited to meet new people.

Most of the boys I'm close with play on the Oliver High School basketball team and they've been busy playing games and they are doing pretty well. I've been working my tail off making sure they've been getting their fafsa's done, (federal aid for education) as well filling out college applications. This can be daunting at times as they need their parents to do this with them and their parents aren't always available or around. I did have one of the boys I'm close too just get accepted to Loch Haven University and that was exciting. It's crazy has they are so late in turning in apps. but we're getting them done one at a time.

I've loved being able to share my home with the boys and they consider it their home as well. I do give them ownership and they are pretty good at taking care of things. I do have to remember that they are high school students and sometimes I can be a bit of a nag. (That's because I'm not the cleanest guy and if we don't get it done right away, it might take awhile.) I usually have 4 guys spend Friday through Sunday with me and they go home after church on Sunday. That still amazes me that they would choose to hang out with a straight guy like me who doesn't let them cuss or drink, and I make them clean up after themselves.

I promise to update more frequently and look forward to sharing more stories with you about chadinpittsburgh!

My Life in a cult

What I'm about to write about is something I don't think many know about me other than a few bits and pieces. As a matter of fact I rarely spoke of this period of my life until a girlfriend cornered me and I thought it's time to start letting people know the depth of my involvement in a cult from 1985-1994 and as a matter of fact not completely letting go of the believes of that cult until 2000.

In 1982, after graduating from high school I moved to Salt Lake City to live with my family who moved to Utah at the beginning of my senior year yet allowed me to stay in California to complete my senior year and graduate with the my classmates I'd grown close too.

Moving to Utah was a completely different world than northern California especially back in the early 80's. The styles were in dress and music seemed to be 10 years behind the times. I had gotten into the New Wave music scene and was reading books like Siddhartha by Herman Hesse and really thought that I was becoming some sort of philosophical kinda guy. I had a hard time relating to people in Utah as people seemed to fit 2 molds, LDS or long hair, non LDS rockers who smoked cigarettes. I had started to cut my hair shorter back in 1980 after a friend in high school had us all watch An American Gigolo with Richard Gere and clean cut was coming back in. Fast forward to Utah 2 years later and clean cut meant only one thing, you were Mormon. Making one of my great decisions in life, I decided to keep a clean cut image but decided to take up smoking as a way of showing that I wasn't Mormon anymore.(I didn't say it was a good decision) I remember getting into Ayn Rand after this point and she became my new philosopher. She wrote about how smokers had control over fire through a cigarette and this confirmed that bad choice. (funny, Ayn Rand seems to be making a comeback through the far right) My new friend who introduced me to Ayn Rand lived with his parents in a very exclusive part of Salt Lake Valley at that time and they were extremely wealthy. His father ran a brokerage training company and published articles in The Economist and WSJournal. He was constantly in New York City and big wigs Dean Witter and E.F. Hutton would come visit during ski season. I had never seen that kind of wealth and Bill promised if I stuck with him that I would someday be in those kind of circles. I was even offered an apprenticeship at the New York Stock Exchange through his connections and I had no idea what sort of opportunity that was until many years later. I decided not to do this intern.
Bill stuck with me though and gave me a job at his company. I worked hard and was well liked and willing to do whatever it took to get the job done. I remember that as long as we promoted that money would come in, so when a mailing wasn't getting out on time I stayed up all night putting the mailing together so it could go out the next morning. This was not my job but I knew that this was a lifeline of the Company according to Bill so I just saw that it needed to be done and did it. Bill loved this and even threw me a $50 spot.
I went to Bill at one point and asked him what I could do to improve my position, what step would he want me to do next. Bill was a Scientologist and I knew that they went to Florida for special counseling every few months and I had even been to a few events about Scientology with his son Bret. They talked about exteriorization but one time they asked who wanted to go "clear" come on up and talk to someone I actually walked up to one of their salespeople and told them I'd like to. I asked how much it would cost and the person said around $30,000. I gulped and faded back and out of the auditorium figuring I'd do "this rich man's religion" when I got rich.
Back to my discussion about my future with Bill's company. Bill told me that Scientology has a communication course that I should go down and take. This course would cost about $150 dollars but he'd split the cost with me.
I began the summer of 1985 taking the communication course. The first part of the course is basically sitting in front of someone and not blinking, twitching,or moving. It's basically called just being there. You next learn to be teased, cajoled, and made fun of without laughing getting angry or anything else. A person sits in front of you and basically insults you. (The other day I actually realized that this kind of training knocks down your defense mechanism and allows you to be fed false information, I know there's probably deeper significance to that but in a nut shell that's what it does.) I had some difficulty doing this course and wished I just would've quit going but my friend Bret decided to come in and get me through the course. I eventually got through it and I attested that I knew how to communicate. I was taken upstairs and put in front of a scientology counselor. This is what I'd wanted to do. The scientology counselor hooks you up to an emeter which basically reads if any thing is blocking your thinking energy. You look back into your past and find upsets and keep going back to the original upset. I kept going back and talking about whatever came to my mind. I eventually came to a point where I knew that it wasn't this lifetime what I was looking at. At that point I was so excited that I finished with my "session" as I went to a past life. (This was the last time anything like that ever happened)
After that point I listened to all the Scientology books and tapes I could get ahold of. I found one that spoke about a group of people who run and protect the "technology" of Scientology called the Sea Organization. Because of my light drug history I actually qualified for this group. I called a recruiter in Florida and told them I wanted to work for Hubbard and she took some information and then called me back and told me I was approved and then we figured out how I could get there quickly. I saved money for a plane flight and 1 month later I arrived in Clearwater, Florida. My first red flag should've been that no one was at the airport to greet me, yet here I was going to become one of the Dukes of Scientology. No big deal, I saw a couple a people carrying briefcase made to carry emeter and I asked if they were headed to Flag(the Scientology organization). They said yes and I told them I was joining the Sea Organization and they offered to share a cab.
I arrived at the Fort Harrison Hotel in Clearwater, Florida around 11 pm thinking that I was arriving at the mecca of Scientology. What I saw was a different story. The building was run down and after a few moments of indecisiveness I was led down into a closet which was turned into an office. (When I say turned into an office I mean the brooms, mops and cleaning materials taken out and a desk put in.) I remember a phone cord going out the closet around the corner and up some stairs. (funny the things you remember) As it was late at night and my recruiter looked haggard and tired and she also had a baby on her shoulder we did very little paperwork and I was given a room at the hotel. This room was to be my residence for the next month as normally new recruits are put into a dorm type room with bunks stacked 3 high with a single mattress pad. I arrived on a Saturday night and somehow fell through the cracks. Next...My month in Clearwater, Florida and how deep this rabbit hole is.

Patience brother, patience

This past week has been filled with a lot of drama with boys. It's been a week of ups and downs. Thank God that their our people in my life to give me great advice and encouragement.

Last month we started our basketball team up again. It's actually 2 teams consisting of a varsity league and a jv league. We have 10 guys on the varsity and 8 on the jv. More than basketball it's a place where we can holistically mentor these youth. It's become very clear to me that the boys I've gotten to know our seniors this year and time is running out before life starts handing out its sentences. What I mean is, if some of these guys don't start taking life a little more seriously than they will just be repeating the mistakes of their parents and following the way of broken homes and children without parents born into a country where anything is achievable.

With that in mind we entered last week. The boys for the most part seemed to be responding to the messages and also to the coaching by our staff. School started and something kicked in the boys head, 3 regulars decided to miss practice without calling, 2 out of 3 even had good excuses. Saturday morning 2 of our varsity and I'd say more mature guys decided to have breakdowns and 1 even decided to quit on the team for the day. This has lead to a suspension and other punishments. Of course the guys weren't the most pleasant to be around after all this occurred.

Now comes the advice part, Sunday, Grams (an 80 year old Phd educator and charter school pioneer)asked how thing were going and I said it's a little tough right now, without going into details. She then begins to tell me to have patience as they didn't just happen to wake up one morning and become broken kids with broken families and it takes time to grow and heal. I than speak with 2 other people whom have been in Urban settings for awhile 30+ years for both and amazingly they both cautioned me to be patient and stay the course. I was lobbying Jeff to do something and even change the curriculum we have planned for this Thursday. To make a long story shorter, Monday night I see a couple of the problem kids and they either apologized to the appropriate person or told me that they were ready to "take their medicine for bad behavior". I was ready to change the plan we had put in place even knowing that we would encounter these tough time. So my prayer is to have patience and realize that it's a marathon and not a sprint I'm running.

A New Beginning

I've got a great story of a second chance I'm proud to be able to tell. Pull up a chair, grab something to drink and read away. Last year at this time Jeff and I were basically given 12 guys to form a basketball team with. We knew nothing of these guys and they new nothing of me and just the football persona of Jeff. As I've blogged over the past year I've developed relationship with most of these boys and I'm happy to say that I'm still in touch with all of them to one degree or another. Here's the story of one of the young men I know.

This young man was and is a beast on the athletic field, whether it be basketball, football, wrestling or probably any sport. Problem though...he started missing practices and we had no idea where he was as his phone would be shut off or it just didn't get answered. We liked having him around as he was a good kid although like any young man he could have his moments. During these formative time with the boys, I was investing in other young man and was unable to invest much time into this young man. Thank God that Jeff was able to have an in depth conversation with him on a ride home. This young man, we come to find out, has 4 siblings all under 10 years of age. With his mom working, it is up to him to tend for these siblings. This all comes at the expense of school, activities, or anything he chooses to do.

Enter Bill, Bill is a man who has 3 children all in high school or starting college. I got to know Bill through a small group of men I meet with every tuesday morning. Bill has had quite the year as far as challenges, from personal to business. Bill tells me that he wants to help with our Monday night basketball. Of course we let him, and Bill starts coming to Monday nights. I introduce Bill to a few of the guys that I'm unable to spend much time with and sure enough, he and Bill hit it off. Bill starts mentoring him! Bill starts to know him better and better. He finds out the his cumultative GPA is around very low. He is in his junior year in high school and he is not going to graduate. Bill has him tested and sure enough, this is a bright kid! Life has just dealt him a bad hand.

Around this time Bill meets with an old friend who is an alumni of Kiski school. (www.kiski.org) Kiski is a private college prep school. Bill tells his story and this is where the story starts getting good. This man says that Kiski takes on students like this young man but not very many of them pursue the opportunity. Bill start the process of seeing if he fits although he is already a junior in high school. While the process is ongoing, Bill gets a phone call out of the blue from Malcolm's uncle. This man tells him that he is a Kiski Grad and now a PhD and he know the headmaster personally! The uncle lives in Colorado Springs and he wants to know if Bill is serious about helping him. The answer is of course yes, so the uncle starts working on the family and also introduces Bill to the headmaster. The headmaster was also introduced by the donor. Many hurtles came up as his current high school thought it was a joke and didn't send the transcripts in a timely fashion. His english teacher sent a great recommendation to Kiski. All said, 6 months of working on this and he is ACCEPTED into Kiski! This happened 3 weeks ago. One problem, Bill assumed that the scholarship was in addition to the donor funds. Well the donor funds and the scholarship were the same money which meant that he was only half way funded to be able to attend Kiski. 2 weeks and Bill needed to raise $20K. Well minus around $2500 he is attending Kiski. He is going back to repeat a grade but on successful graduation, he has the opportunity to be accepted into any University out there!

I'm excited as Saturday night I have the opportunity to pick up hun at Kiski so he can come home for the holiday. This young man, who one year ago was lost and had a dismal future in front of him now has a new beginning!

One year and 2 Championships later

I celebrated my one year anniversary about a week and a half ago. I can't believe that it's already been one year since I've moved to Pittsburgh. Many things have happened in that year and I'm excited to see what's in store for the upcoming year. Can you believe that in my first year that both the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Penguins win the Lombardi and Stanley cup! I think the people of the 'burgh have done all they can to make me feel welcome.



I've done a lot of reflection over the past year and I feel that what's happening and how I'm being used has really come to light over the past week. While waiting for my church services to start a man came up to me (this man has lived his whole life as an african american in the northside) and told me that I must be doing something right as african american teenage boys don't hang out with adult males too often as they've been betrayed by their adult role models so often in their upbringing. (bear in mind he was generalizing and painting with a broad brush) This is about the 4th time I've had an african american adult come up to me and say this over the last month. I even had a lady who told me this and then gave me a hug and as I hugged her she grabbed my hand and put $50 there! (Those of you who have teenagers know it's not cheap to feed them)



Let's go back to last year and what I thought my life would look like and then what it looks like now. This is important, my calling to Pittsburgh was to be an assistant to Jeff Hartings so he could fully utilize his resources in the Northside. Those of you who know the story of Saul and David from the bible will relate to this, I was to be Jonathan's (King Saul's son) armor bearer.



I remember when coming out here I thought I'd be part of the fundraising arm of Urban Impact working through their "Play Ball for Kids" program in utilizing the Steeler players to get the local business engage with their resources (people, money, facilities) in helping the Northside. I figured that I'd be golfing with guys and having meetings, talking to Steeler players and getting them utilized in our programs. I get to Pittsburgh and I find out the Jeff and I are going to be running our high school basketball team in a saturday league along with doing our other outreach basketball programs during the week. I thought, ok this is what Jeff is having me do, so be it. After the leagues were over baseball came and Jeff and I were put in charge of the whole baseball program. With all that being said, it's one year later and what I had envisioned for my life in Pittsburgh is totally different than how I thought it would look. This doesn't change the fact that I felt I was called to Pittsburgh and called pretty strong. Again my calling to Pittsburgh was to assist Jeff in his duties with Urban Impact.

I've recently have had some great validations that I'm right where I should be. One of them happened early monday morning as I was walking through the park to get coffee and a couple of the 11-12 year old boys I knew called out to me. We started talking and they wanted to know when we could hang out. (I know now that this isn't "normal" behavior for young African american men). Sunday, I called one of my regular boys to see if he wanted to attend church with me. He couldn't but he would be free later, I told him I'd pick him up. I went to pick him up and he had 3 other guys with him who wanted to hang. I picked them up and picked up number 5 and 6 down the street. Come to find out 3 of them dropped what I considered better plans to hang out at my tv'less apartment and eat chili dogs. These guys will hang out on Friday and Saturday nights if I wanted them to. There is no way that as a 16-18 year old that I was every going to hang out with an overweight, balding 45 year old who doesn't let them swear and talk inapproipately. But hang out the do!

I know that I'm sure I'll disappoint one or two of them over time but right now I'm amazed at the relationships i've built and how God has worked through me in these kids lives.

Stay tuned as I move into year 2!

Baseball Season

Baseball season ended last week and I'm still recovering. Who would've thought that running 5 teams in a baseball league could be so tiring. Since Memorial Weekend I felt I was working 12 hours a day, I almost thought I was a Scientology staff member again. When Jeff and I decided to run the Urban Impact Baseball program I must admit that we did it more out of duty rather than something we felt called to do. We were being good employees. I must admit that for the first few months (March/April)I felt like I was going through the motion of running a program. Then something hit me. I was at the ballfield and I noticed that one of the mothers was at the field with a bunch of kids playing ball. This mother, I must admit, was someone who I steered clear of due to built in prejudices. She was what we would call in my suburbia world, "White trash". She had all the traits and character of that.

The holy spirit somehow softened my heart and prejudices and allowed me to see this woman as someone who God's loves and created. From this point on I was able to not only have a relationship with her but with others also whose lives and experiences are so much different from the one I have.

Before I go I've got an interesting story of a young man I've gotten to know through baseball. This young man comes to our office every afternoon during the school year to work on his school work. I know he comes from a broken family, his mom is a custodian and his dad is in prison. He has no relationship with his father. His mother does the best she can but I'm sure she has her demons. He has 2 older brothers and an older sister. This young man would help me with the snack stand throughout the season. If we made a decent amount of money I would try and pay him. The last night of baseball he came early to help set up and stayed late to help put everything away. I was able to give him a nice bit of money for helping. He asked if I could drive him to a store. I did thinking he would buy some candy or some other junk a 7th grader buys. He comes back in the car and I asked what he bought. He pulls out some socks and deodorant. I was dumbfounded, I didn't grow up with a lot of extras but I never had to worry about sock or deodorant or any other staples. Once again it showed how wide the divide between what these kids have and experience versus what I have and have experienced.

Family Reunion

For more years than I want to admit there's been a rift in my relationship with my family members. Those of you who don't know I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers. My parents had 5 kids in their first 7 years of marriage and then when I was almost seven my mom gave birth to twins and then a girl when I was ten. I'm called the baby of our first family and I relished those first seven years. I remember when my mother gave birth to the twins that I upset and didn't want to see them as they were taking away whatever birthright I percieved I had. When I finally went to the hospital (i'm sure kicking and screaming) and saw the twins, Dale and Gail, I immediately melted and loved them immediately. I've never had kids myself but I wonder if this is a similar experience parents have when they see their newborns? I know that now I'm not particulary fond of newborns and a little scared of their fragility. I don't really interact with kids until they are at least 1 year of age, then they have me hook,line,and sinker. All that to say, I loved hanging with my new little brothers and sister. I remember this feeling up until I was around 18. (more on this later) I loved when they were around and liked for the most part playing with them, even as a teenager.

When I was in 3rd grade I remember hearing that my mom was going to have another baby. That was an exciting time for me. I knew that my dad was just kidding about leaving if we had anymore kids in the family. (part of the reason I didn't want any more siblings)(parents watch what your tell your kids, they take you literally) I also remember listening to the baby growing inside my mother. Jill was born October 2 (I can't say the year because now she's a woman and they get mad about revealing their age) She became my favorite immediately. (Sorry Dale and Gail) Truth be known I think she became all of our family's favorite. She was very talkative and would start up conversations with strangers at an early age and everyone loved her who came in contact with her, she was just plain fun to be with.

I always for the most part got along with my older siblings and they definitely included me in things, although I'm not so sure I'm fond of being included in dress up. My oldest sister kept me grounded in the arts while my older brother made sure that I knew how to play sports and didn't embarrass him on the ballfield. I felt a good balance and definitely felt loved.

All in all I had a happy childhood with normal ups and downs along the way.

Sometime in the summer between my sophomore and junior year of high school I came to the realization that I couldn't follow the chosen religion of my family. This wasn't a decision that came lightly to me. It wasn't a rebellion, it was a non-belief. This was major as I spent a lot of time doing church activities, and I had what I thought to be lots of privilidges so I felt that I would be on lockdown if I let my parents know of my departure. I decided to keep it to myself, and would let them know when I turned 18 of my decision a year and a half into the future. The problem with this was I became a very convincing liar and lived 2 lives pretty convincingly.

When I turned 18 I let the family know of my decision and that is when I felt a shift in my relationships. I don't think it was so much a shift in their minds as it was in mine. From that point on I felt a separation from the family.

Life then went on (I will blog on more of my life in future blogs) and the separation became greater and greater. It eventually got to a point where I didn't see some sibling for over 5 years. I would visit cities they lived in and they wouldn't even know it.

Somewhere over the last 4 years the Holy Spirit put it in my heart that I needed to reconcile with my family and be more transparent with them. Slowly, I started to do this. First through letters to my parents and finally although the journey of reconciliation is not totally over, with my several of my siblings over Christmas time. I've decided that it's okay disagree and but that doesn't mean that my viewpoint is their viewpoint nor is my viewpoint necessarily the correct viewpoint. I found out that arguments and letting them go one is just wasted time, like in years!

Since Christmas I've had some great times talking to my siblings and even my parents. I've laughed and even cried. (Stop it Gail, and no I'm not crying right now!) I now for the first time in years look forward to spending time with family and it's been years (close to 20) since I could say this.

This year has been a great year of healing with my family.